Back to back

 This feeling that really suck. We have access for sure, but everytime I have a time to tell, my mouth stop talking, even my mind keep thinking all the memory that has been happening before. It's back to suffocate me. I couldnt breath again. My hand back to shake, even the feeling of heartquake back to me again. Its like my mind was on rollercoster, up and down, never stop again and again. A circle sign on my left finger not function anymore. You are blur from my heart, but the things is not that one. Now is more like, question for you. Why did you take my very best friends... Who was with me everytime to hear anything without boundaries. You were ask me to find. To where? 

And you keep saying, I am here for you

But I couldn't feel that you there. I am lying down on my bed, staring at the moon. The same moon, so beautiful, I would like to take a photograph and send it to you. But I dont have that right anymore. The thing is, to release energy same as to lift a mountain with your fingers. I couldn't control it anymore.

I know this feeling just for a few moments. This feeling is only passed by. But to take over my mind is getting harder again now. 

Or maybe, I need hypnotherapy session 2 as soon as possible, so I can breath normally like you guys:)

But dont worry, I'll try my best to be okay, to see my self on the top mountain and smile widely moreover, at that time, I will be able to take a look my past and will say that "You did it"