Help me

 Today, its going to be 6 months after I lost him

Since yesterday, I felt so hurt again. Maybe its bcs of my period time. It makes my feeling so sensitive day by day. Again I feel that I lost everything, I lost my world, I lost my life. I dont really know what to do. I am in desperation. My heart beat fast again today and I know it is not good for my health. I feel panic attact again today at this moment. I dont know who I should share with. All pain is becoming one again. All mix in my mind, and never let me stop to think about. I am done, I am frustated. I dont know what to do anymore. I dont have hope anymore. All is gone. I dont have anything. I am tired, but when I tried to sleep, it will wake me up in the middle same like last night. I slept in normal hours around 8pm. And suddenly I awake in midnight, I tried to back to sleep and again suddenly awake after 2 hours. I am tired to be like this. I am tired to take a long breath to make me calm to make my heart beat normal. I take a deep breath and my heart back to beat fastly. And I feel like panic suddenly. I cried, I tried to find help but I dont know where is my help. I hold my hands, keep saying " I can do this". But suddenly my heart beat fastly again, again, and again. Sunday, Nov 6, 2022